A revolver could be used in an American Revolution reenactment.

(This just leaves the knife).

Alma Mater

Patron

... stolen by a scheming gnome named Gnomy McGnomeface Rumplestiltskin.

My mac and cheese ...

...for me, and a small one for my scheming cat, Sir Plotty Puss.*

I have a microphone...

______________________________________
* I don't actually have a cat, but wouldn't that be a great name for one?

...make them all have happy endings, because blasphemy! If I had to choose a first name to remove from existence, I would... That's been done. See "The History of King Lear", for instance. If you had a pet dragon, you'd name it... ...Tiny. Because irony. If you had to climb Mount Everest, you would...

I hated "Oops! You did something we were not expecting..."

Since I can't heal myself, and I can't guess who Mr Boddy is, I ask the genie from this thread to heal me! He doesn't, but he gives me a clue. Is that you, Buttercup? The name just reminds me of all those nursery stories about little heroines that take a trip in the woods to visit their grandmothers...

Meanwhile, Baba Yaga was still back at the tree, still wishing she had an enormous boil. Or at least that she could catch Harold and make Frog Leg Fricassee for dinner.

Reverend Green got drunk on too much brandy and started flirting with Miss Scarlett. Unfortunately, he did not know how to flirt, so most of his pickup lines came from his confused reminiscences of secretly playing "Leisure Suit Larry" in seminary school.

VEry WELL. FrOm NOw On, WE MAy IgnOrE ThE InjUnctIOn AgAInst ThE LEttEr "l". ThAt Is TO SAy, ThE LEttEr "l" MAy bE Used WIth ImpUnIty.

I go to the library and look up a book called "How To Serve Man". I blow the dust off the cover, and find the title is "How To Serve Man Dinner." Then I blow more dust off the cover, and find the title is "How To Serve Man For Dinner." Then I blow even more dust off the cover, and find the title is ...

Hmm. Russian Bot, I guess you've been to Oktoberfest.

My favourite Mel Brooks film is Blazing Saddles.
My favourite Mel Brooks film is Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
My favourite Mel Brooks film is Spaceballs.

Whoops! *ussian Bot, PLease Take Back Your HeaLth Point. I Want To Be Fair.

Apologies, Whoopee Cushion And Everyone. Zwei Is Two, Drei Is Three. I Had No Caffeine.

Manners

(Isn't Eva Peron a real person)?

Hedley Lamarr